CLINICAL INTERVENTION

Is Your Plant Dying?
It's Not Too Late.

Take the Plant Parent Personality Assessment and discover why your houseplants keep dying — and what to do about it.

Instant Access · Guaranteed Diagnosis

Yellowing LeavesRoot RotThe Fiddle Leaf FiascoSunburned SucculentsCrispy EdgesWilting FrondsYellowing LeavesRoot RotThe Fiddle Leaf FiascoSunburned SucculentsCrispy EdgesWilting Fronds

You're A Plant Parent
In Crisis.

Look. We need to talk.

You've killed your last plant. The succulent that "literally anyone can keep alive." The pothos. The fiddle leaf fig you spent $200 on because Pinterest told you to. They're all gone.

You're not a bad person. You're a Plant Parent in Crisis. And there's help available.

An elegant empty terracotta pot with a single fallen withered leaf next to it, symbolizing a plant parent in crisis.

Dr. Fern Greenfield surrounded by healthy plants

NO JUDGMENT

Meet Dr. Fern Greenfield

Hi, I'm Dr. Fern Greenfield, and I've spent 15 years rescuing dying houseplants and the chronically green-thumb-challenged humans who love them. At Houseplant Hospice, we don't judge. We diagnose, we treat, and we recover — together.

WHAT'S INCLUDED

The Clinical Intervention

Everything you need to stop the cycle of plant loss and establish a thriving indoor garden.

60-Minute Assessment

A self-guided deep dive to accurately diagnose your specific plant-killing patterns and environment.

Personalized Recovery Plan

A clinical care roadmap architected exclusively around your lifestyle, space, and botanical goals.

30-Minute Debrief Call

A one-on-one consultation with Dr. Fern to talk through your diagnosis and answer your pressing questions.

Clear Path Forward

Actionable, step-by-step instructions to ensure you never have to throw away a dying plant again.

Your plants are counting on you. Let's get them the help they need.

Stop Killing Plants Forever.

This isn't another generic course. This is a clinical intervention.

Your plants are counting on you. Let's get them the help they need.

CLARITY BEFORE COMMITMENT

Your Questions,
Answered.

No plant parent is beyond saving. If you're hesitant about the process, review these common concerns to see exactly how our clinical intervention works to break your plant-killing cycle.

What exactly happens during the 60-minute assessment?

It’s a comprehensive, self-guided diagnostic tool. You'll answer targeted questions about your home environment, light levels, watering habits, and past botanical casualties so we can pinpoint your exact plant-killing pattern.

How does the 30-minute debrief call format work?

After your assessment, we’ll meet one-on-one via a private video call. Dr. Fern will walk you through your personalized Plant Parent Recovery Plan and prescribe specific, actionable steps tailored to your living space.

What if all my plants are literally already dead?

Then you're in the perfect place. We specialize in total botanical resets. We'll start with a clean slate and prescribe the ideal, resilient species for your specific lifestyle so you don't repeat past mistakes.

I don't have much time. Is this going to be a lot of work?

The assessment takes just 60 minutes, and the debrief is 30 minutes. The goal isn't to give you more work—it's to stop you from wasting time, energy, and money on plants that don't fit your life.

Is this just another generic plant care course?

Absolutely not. This is a clinical intervention. You won't be left alone to watch hours of generic videos; you'll receive a precise diagnosis and a custom prescription tailored just for you.

Is Your Plant Dying?It's Not Too Late.

You're A Plant ParentIn Crisis.